Wild Animals and People Don’t Mix

As animals go, humans are weak, pathetic specimens. We can’t smell much, hear much or move very fast. We quickly lose it when submerged under water, plunged into temperature extremes or exposed to almost any sort of physical stress. Regardless of all that, we occupy the top of the food chain because of our sophisticated, beautifully superior brain. So let’s hear it for the brain: capable of reasoning, language, memory, insight—qualities which come in very handy for a creature with virtually no other physical assets. Since we have that superior brain, which trumps all other forms of animal power; my question is this: Why are we surprised when a Homo sapien, claiming some supernatural power over animals, turns out to be instead, just another fallible mammal? I refer, of course, to Steve Irwin; self named Crocodile Hunter; and the equally ill-fated Roy Horn, of the Las Vegas animal/illusion act Siegfried and Roy.

First, what they have in common. Both were possessed of a special sort of hubris which guaranteed their position as King of the Animal Mountain. Both loved animals and backed it up with charitable endeavors designed to create a better world for them. Both were gifted at showmanship. I know plenty of people who claim to have a special bond with animals. Most are harmless, like would-be movie star Timothy “Grizzly Man” Treadwell, who was eaten by a Brown Bear while being recorded by his video camera. But Irwin and Roy got rich exploiting this talent. Finally, they share an unfortunate fate: Roy was dragged offstage by one of his tigers, resulting in a debilitating stroke and partial paralysis; and Irwin was killed by a Stingray while filming a video segment.

Recently, Irwin’s adorable eight-year old daughter Bindi said this about animals: “Some people think that I would be afraid of them, but I’m never ever afraid of an animal. I just get excited.”(PeopleMagazine10/30/06 p.72) Uh oh, another human with immutable powers and a talent for publicity. Precocious Bindi is bravely following in her late father’s footsteps, but I wonder if she has all the information she needs about animals. For starters:

Dogs, chickens, dairy cows . . . all are listed under the column Domestic. Tigers, stingrays, bears are under the Wild Animal column. Humans have not modified their genetic makeup. We do influence them however, since our species is ruining their habitat. If we are superior to them, then we are responsible for them. If we are not superior, then we have no business trying to manipulate them. Either way, wild animals deserve immunity from human exploitation, no matter how skillfully it is packaged.

Siegfried and Roy claimed to love their ‘big cats’. But a big part of love is respect. That tiger didn’t belong on a stage in Las Vegas. I don’t know why it took him so long to come to his senses and act like a tiger instead of a trained Labrador. But when he dragged Roy offstage, members of the feline family everywhere cheered. And I don’t think I’m the only member of the human species to have felt a guilty, secret thrill for that cat, either.

Irwin’s story is a bit more complex. He clearly championed his ‘prey’ and was often educational. Yet that braggadocio was always at the crocodile’s expense. Still, millions of people learned about animals, and probably became supporters of the wild kingdom while being entertained by The Crocodile Hunter. I don’t know exactly what the interaction was between the stingray and Irwin, except at the end. But Irwin was usually respectful of habitat.

So when he died, he was just being himself, as was the stingray. Likewise, Grizzly Man and the bear that killed him were both predictable examples of their species. Roy was a Las Vegas showman and the tiger was, in the end, true to its wild animal self. If a Pit Bull gobbles me up tomorrow, you can all say, “She had it coming.” The difference will be that domestic animals need people in order to survive. Undomesticated animals require just the opposite.

Everyone knows that wild animals can be dangerous. But if you get rich flaunting your power over them, then when one of them does you in you have an obligation: Take it like a man.